Saint Valentine game

These were the rules:

1- Everybody writes an advertisement. No nationality or sex should be stated.
2- I collect all the ads and display them somewhere without names, of course.
3- Everybody chooses the ONE most appealing advertisement for him/her.
4- Hopefully some match will be made, and I will announce them.
5- There won’t be any price. The possibility (1/100000000) of finding your dreamed partner should be enough.

And here there are some examples of advertisements.

Customer with very clear business requirements requests high quality product for rollout. Good references from previous clients using this product will be an advantage. Available for workshop on Saturday and Sunday with the objective of perform a User Acceptance Test.
Transparency in documentation, such us user manual and maintenance costs is mandatory.

Desperate seeks desperate. In the knowledge that no long term relationship can work for somebody like me, and since my cat died and my poor salary doesn’t allow me to get me some entertainment on the weekend, I’m flooding the net with this pitiful ad with the hope that out there is somebody for me. Somebody with incredibly low standards and bad judgment who is willing to give me oral sex and clean the toilet afterwards.

Lonely teddy bear seeks for abandoned puppet who also likes watching long sunset holding hands, chocolate ice cream, strawberry cheesecake, stuffed bunny ears, hand cuffs and leather in general.