Who is afraid of the little lizard?

Este es mi cuarto de bano. Hay un error de diseno que no es nada obvio. Observese la ventana. Observese la banera justo debajo. Considerese que el bano en si esta situado en el vigesimo octavo piso de un “condominium” en Malasia.

Primero fue hace dos meses, una cucaracha tan gorda como mi pulgar se paseaba por el fondo de la banera pidiendo a gritos una ducha. No tuve ningun inconveniente en darsela, para darme cuenta (cuando me levanto por la manana soy un poco estupida) de que evidentemente el maldito animalejo no iba a desaparecer por el desague. Asi que tuve que ponerme unos guantes (donde estan los hombres cuando se les necesita?) y coger el bicho repugnante para guiarlo a su nueva casa, el retrete (que asco, que asco, que asco).

Bueno, pues la semana pasada fue una lagartija. Ya me habia encontrado una en el armario y casi me da un ataque del susto. Pero bueno, cerre el armario y ojos que no ven… Si en Republica Checa no se mata a las arenas (da mala suerte), aqui no se mata a las lagartijas. Primero porque se comen otros bichos, bichos que transmiten el dengue. Y segundo porque se te quedaria la pared echa una orgia de visceras digna de una peli de serie B.

Asi que me quede en cuclillas enfrente de la banera, mirando la lagartija y validando mis opciones mientras murmuraba todavia sonnolienta “vete… vamos… lagartija buena…”. No se iba a ir por el desague. No iba a cometer el error. Probe a asustarla con el grifo. Ni punetero caso (donde estan los hombres cuando se les necesita?). Tocarla no la iba a tocar. Decidi que por lo menos le iba a sacar una foto para el blog, me fui a por la camara y cuando volvi, el bicho se habia ido.

Leccion. A veces, si ignoras los problemas, si que desaparecen.

Para las marujillas que piensen que esto se arregla limpiando el cuarto de bano con lejia, insistire en que esto es un pais tropical, y que los hijos de puta entran por la ventana como quien va de visita a un parque acuatico. No hay salida.

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This is my bathroom. There is an error in the design that might not be identified immediately. Look at the window. Look at the bathtub just under it. Consider that the bathroom itself is located in the 28th floor of a condominium in Malaysia.

The first issue occurred two months ago, a cockroach as big as my thumb was having a walk in the bottom of the bathtub and crying for a shower. Of course I gave it the shower to realize (when I wake up in the morning I’m a bit stupid) that obviously the bug was not going to disappear in the bathtub hole. So I had to pick up the gloves (where are men when you need them?) and take the disgusting thing with my hands to guide it to his new home, the toilet (yuck, yuck, yuck)

Well, last week was a small lizard. I had already found one in the wardrobe and I almost had a stroke, but I managed the situation. I closed the wardrobe and pretend I didn’t see anything. In Czech Republic you don’t kill spiders (bad luck), here you don’t kill little lizards. First, because they eat other bugs and those bugs transmit dengue. And second, because the wall will be turned into a bloody orgy.

So I kneeled for a while in front of the bath tub, looking at the lizard and checking my options while I was whispering in my dreams “leave.. come on… good lizard, good…” (but in Spanish) It was not going to leave in the whole. Not the same mistake twice. I tried to scared it with the shower, but it seemed to enjoy it (where are men when you need them?). I was not going to touch the thing so I decided to go for the camera to at least have a picture for the blog. When I came back, the lizard was gone.

Lesson. Sometimes when you ignore the problems, they do dissapear.

For the sissis that are thinking this problem will be solved cleaning the bath properly I will insist in the fact that this is a tropical country, and the son of bitches come from the window like if they where visiting a waterpark. Hopeless