Pushy Priests

Algunas veces el estomago te avisa de que seguir hacer una determinada cosa es una mala idea. Es lo que se llama experiencia. Y te puede servir para evitar situaciones desagradables. Otras veces es que ni las ves venir, y ahi es donde entra en juego la amada Lonely Planet, que recoge experiencias de otras personas que pueden servirte a ti para evitar situaciones desagradables. Esta fabula pretende ensenar porque es mejor leer la Lonely Planet ANTES del viaje.

Erase una vez un intrepido grupo de jovenes que en cierto dia de agosto se aventuro en los ghats de la ciudad sagrada de Pushkar. Nuestra protagonista, la llamaremos N. se deleitaba distraidamente en la contemplacion de los petalos de rosa abandonados en el lago, en las mujeres con sus llamativos saris tipicos de esa region de la India, y en las vacas, monos, palomas, perros y demas animalillos que llenaban de vida las ceremonias matinales de los hindues. En fin, tan contemplativa y extasiada estaba que no se dio cuenta como sucedio que cada uno de los intrepidos jovenes del grupo estaba sentado frente al lago con un simpatico hindu y un plato lleno de arroz, flores, colorante y un coco. En fin, se dijo N, desde el otro lado del ghat tendre una vista mejor, y empezo a andar.

Pero N no pudo llegar muy lejos, porque al pasar frente a la pareja formada por su amiga E y su simpatico hindu, este le hizo senas (imperativas senas) para que se sentara con ellos. Bueno, penso N, charlaremos un rato con este amigable hindu que tan de buena fe nos ofrece su tiempo.

El simpatico hindu les explico a N y a E que Pushkar es la ciudad dedicada a Brahma, el creador, y que aunque sea hindu, al fin y al cabo es probablemente el mismo dios de los cristianos, musulmanes y demas. Que hindu tan simpatico y razonable! penso N. El simpatico hindu les explico que debian tomar agua del lago y echarsela por encima. Despues debian repetir con el.
-Lord Brahma – dijo el simpatico hindu
-Lord Brahma – repitieron N y E
-I ask you
-I ask you
-For good health
-For good health
-good work
-good work
-good husband
-good… husband - N y E se miraron dudando si repetir esto
-good children
-good mmmdren - Esto lo repitieron sin mucho convencimiento

A continuacion el simpatico hindu les hizo recordar a N y a E a todos sus parientes, vivos y muertos y les sugirio pedir a Lord Brahma por ellos. La mayoria de los intrepidos aventureros del grupo eran ateos, asi que esto podria explicar el hecho de que parecian incomodos sentados junto a sus respectivos simpaticos hindues. El simpatico hindu tiro las rosas y el arroz al agua y siguio.

-Lord Brahma
-Lord Brahma
-I offer you 10 dollars
-I offer… what?!!
-10 dollars, 20 dollars, 100 dollars…. Aqui la gente se deja muchisimo dinero, vosotras lo que podais. El dinero va y viene, el karma se queda.

N y E protestaron, pero el simpatico hindu no parecia dispuesto a dejarles marchar asi que cedieron y le dieron diez dolares cada una.

-Lord Brahma, I offer you 10 dollars
-Eh, oiga, Lord Brahma no tiene suficiente con los 10 de antes?
-Lord…
-Oiga!

Finalmente 10 dolares y 300 rupias le parecieron suficiente a Lord Brahma y al simpatico hindu, que les puso a las intrepidas jovenes unos granos de arroz con colorante en la frente, les dio una postalita, una bolsa de anises y les ato un cordelito en la muneca.

-Si volveis por aqui, ensenad la pulsera y nadie os molestara
-Vaya, hombre, bueno es saberlo. Muchas gracias, eh?

N y E no volvieron por aquel lugar, salieron corriendo a reencontrarse con el resto del grupo de intrepidos jovenes, cada uno de ellos con su correspondiente pulserita, porque una bonita anecdota como esta y la bendicion de todos tus seres queridos, bien vale diez dolares y 300 rupias.

---

Sometimes the stomach tells you that doing something is a bad idea. That is called experience, and it helps you to avoid unpleasant situations. Other times you cannot even smell the unpleasant situation, and that’s why Lonely Planet exists. To collect experiences from other people that can help you to prevent unpleasant situations. This small tale intends to explain why it is always better to read the Lonely Planet BEFORE the trip.

Once upon a time there were a group of intrepid youngsters walking around the ghats in the sacred city of Pushkar. The main character of this story, we’ll call her N., was contemplating the rose petals left in the water, the women with the colorful sarees, and the cows, monkeys, doves, dogs, and other animals that also attend the morning Hindi ceremonies. N was so busy contemplating that didn’t realize how it happened but every single intrepid youngster was sitting with a friendly Hindi and a plate with rose petals, rice, colorant and a coconut in front of the lake. Whatever, said N to herself, and started to walk along the ghat.

But N couldn’t get very far, because when she was walking behind her friend E, sitting with her friendly Hindi, was compelled (strongly compelled by the friendly Hindi) to sit down with them. Well, N thought, we will have a nice chat with this friendly Hindi that so altruist is offering us his time.

The friendly Hindi explained to N and E that Pushkar is a city dedicated to Brahma, the creator, and that even if it is an Hindi god, it is very probably the same one than the Christians or Muslims have. Oh, this is a very sensible gentleman, thought N. The friendly Hindi explained that they should take water from the lake and throw it over the head. Then they should repeat with him

-Lord Brahma – said the friendly hindi
-Lord Brahma – repeated N and E
-I ask you
-I ask you
-For good health
-For good health
-good work
-good work
-good husband
-good… husband - N and E looked at each other doubting if they really wanted to repeat this
-good children
-good mmmdren – They repeated this, but not very convincingly

Afterwards the friendly Hindi made them think of all their relatives, dead or alive, and suggested them to ask Lord Brahma for their well being. Most of the intrepid youngsters were atheist so that probably explains the fact that they seemed to be uncomfortable sitting by their respective friendly Hindi. The friendly Hindi threw the roses and rice to the lake and continued.

-Lord Brahma
-Lord Brahma
-I offer you 10 dollars
-I offer… what?!!
-10 dollars, 20 dollars, 100 dollars…. People give huge amounts of money here, but you can give just 10 or 20. Money comes and goes but karma stays.

N and E tried to put together a complain but the friendly Hindi didn’t looked like he was going to let them go easily so they agreed to give him ten dollars each.

-Lord Brahma, I offer you 10 dollars
-Excuse me… Lord Brahma is not satisfied with the ten from before?
-Lord…
-Ey!

Finally 10 dollars and 300 rupees seemed to satisfy both Lord Brahma and the friendly Hindi, who put a bit of colorant with rice in the forehead of the intrepid female youngsters and gave them a postcard, a bag of candy and tied a red string on their wrist.

-If you come back, show the string and nobody will bother you
-Oh, so that was the trick. Grrreat. Thank you very much

N and E didn’t come back, they actually ran to meet the other intrepid youngsters, each of them wearing the correspondent string, because a beautiful story like this one and the well being of all your loved ones, dead and alive is surely worth 10 dollars and 300 rupees.